Tommy Lee
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Buy *Tommyland* online


Tommy Lee with Anthony Bozza
288 pages
October 2004
rated 4 of 5 possible stars

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Remember those old commercials where a camera would be shoved into a football player's face after winning the super bowl? The questioned posed to them was “You just won the SuperBowl - where are you going afterwards? And they’d respond. “I’m going to Disneyworld.” Well, folks, you didn’t win the SuperBowl, but you're still going some place special -- it’s called Tommyland.

Co-written with Anthony Bozza, Tommyland is a quick, enjoyable romp through the life of rocker Tommy Lee that sucks (okay, bad pun, continue on to see what I mean) you in from the first page. In said first chapter, we learn that not only do we have the narrative of Tommy’s voice, but Tommy’s mighty member as well. That’s right – his penis interjects his opinion through out the book. Like this for example, when he called Heather Locklear for the first time:

“I should have waited longer to get up the balls--"
“Are you kidding? My boys got that covered.”
and prepare a speech before I called her, because when I did, I was such a F*%#@$! jackass.”
“Bro…why didn’t ya just hand me the phone? I’ve got a list of lines.” “When she answers the phone I just say, ‘Hey, what’s goin’ on? My name is Tommy Lee and I got your number, and I wanted to say hi.’ She’s friendly as she ever is, but completely suspicious, as she should have been. She says, ‘Oh, hi, how are you? How did you get my number?’ Tommy boy genius says, ‘Oh… I just got it.’ And she says, ‘Oh really? You just got it?’ I’m sitting there, going full speed ahead blind”
“If what the preacher says is true, dude, we’d be blind a long time ago.”
The first chapter with Tommy’s penis was pretty funny but the charm wears thin with this literary device. You also get (due to Tommy’s not-so-good memory) quotes from John Corabi, Pamela Anderson, and at the bottom of far too many pages, explanations from Anthony Bozza correcting times, dates, numbers that Tommy had misquoted. There were even some suggested corrective notes from the publisher that appeared intermittently throughout the book (the first was hilarious when Tommy writes on page nine that if you pick up the book and don’t like it, you should put it back on the shelf, and the publisher was like “Tommy we want to encourage them to buy the book -- not put it back. The aim is to sell books!!”). Combined, it made reading certain passages an arduous task. It was kind of like pop-ups popping up while trying to read something on the 'Net, not good. But the book is never boring. In a carefree attitude Tommy delves into Motley Crue, the Pamela Anderson years (Is there anything we don’t already know and haven’t seen from this time?), Heather Locklear, his time in jail, some of his rock n’ roll antics, and even some more poignant stuff like the birth of his kids, the death of his father during the time of 9/11, and the boy who drowned in his pool. All pretty tough stuff, rich and famous or not – death and loss is a hard pill to swallow for anyone.

Overall, for casual fans who want to live vicariously through the wild partying times of a hard rocker, this will live up to your expectations. Hardcore fans might feel a little less enthused as there isn’t any new ground that is covered, but nonetheless will still like the book.

© 2005 by Bobby Blades for

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