Now, I love a good, juicy, sleazy beach read as much as the next gal, but Pamela Anderson (yes, THAT Pamela Anderson) really should stick to what she does best. And I am not really sure what that is, but she should stick to it, because writing is not her strong point.

Star Struck is Pam’s latest novel, and gives us a tantalizing glimpse into the world of celebrity and sex and rock and roll from someone who truly has seen it all, done it all, had it all. The story centers on a gorgeous blond female TV star and her ragtag rock star lover, Jimi, who sounds an awful lot like Tommy Lee, by the way. Seems these two wild and sex-starved kids have gotten themselves into deep doo-doo because of their dislike, to put it mildly, of paparazzi.

The novel unfolds as Star and Jimi basically have sex, knock off photographers, have sex, travel, engage in the excesses of stardom, be cool celebrities, have more sex, and have more sex on top of that. Eventually, though, all that passion, and I am not talking about the sex, comes back to haunt them as they find themselves on the lam for their, uhum…sins.

Poorly written and terribly plotted (really, it’s nothing but 190 pages of in-and-out-of-bed), the book as a novel didn’t hold my interest past page 25. I had to force myself to read the entire book, and even the multitude of sex scenes weren’t enough to hold my attention. In fact, I’ve read more titillating sex scenes in Stephen King novels – REALLY! Star Struck is a very fast read – I finished it under two hours, and reminds me of a so-so Chinese meal – not that great while you are eating it, and then you are starving for more food a few hours later.

On Pam’s behalf, I must say that there are occasional glimmers of snappy humor and self-deprecating wit peppered throughout the novel, but not enough to override the lack of depth and the fact that you just plain don’t give a hoot about either Star or Jimi at all.

Look, I love Pam Anderson. I think she is an honest, gutsy, cool lady and a real star in every sense of the word. She is campy and compassionate about her love of animals and she knows how to work it, girlfriend! But the fact that, because of her celebrity, she can get drivel like Star Struck published makes me a little sad, especially as a reviewer who has read dozens of books by totally unknown writers that get zilch attention, yet are far better written and executed.

I guess celebrity really does have its benefits.