The moral of The Proper Feeding and Care of Husbands is simple: a woman’s role in a relationship is to take care of all her husband’s needs, first and foremost. This book is a quick read, with an introduction and eight short chapters. Each of the chapters are made up of the author sitting on her high horse, talking down to her readers, and are peppered with excerpts from her on-air calls, as well as emails and other correspondence received from her listeners.

In the first chapter, “The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” Dr. Laura tries to broadly cover the things women do wrong to sabotage her relationship. “The White Rabbit Syndrome” talks about making more time for husbands. “”You’re a Nag!”” tackles, you guessed it, trying to bite your tongue and curb your requests. If you can’t hold back altogether, the woman should change her tone and presentation. “Men Have Feelings? Really? You’re Kidding!” talks about men’s feelings, and how they are there, even if they are repressed. “”Huh? Honey, What Did You Say? What Did That Mean?”” tries to explain communication barriers between the sexes (which, like every other problem, is the woman’s fault). “A Man Should Be Respected in His Own Home”: self explanatory. Finally, “Guy Time” talks of a man’s need for his own private time, so women should stop being selfish and asking their men to give them a break.

After reading the book in two sittings, the basic principles I have taken away with me are:

• Sex ~ Sex is the woman’s duty. It is her job. If she withholds sex, it will be her fault when the man has an affair. A woman expects her man to go to his job, and provide for the family, even when he doesn’t feel like it, so a woman should submit and have sex, even when she doesn’t feel like it.
• Communication ~ Women are not to vent to their husbands. Being the simple creatures that they are, too many details just annoys them. Besides, by simply venting, and not allowing them to provide solutions, the woman is stripping a man of his masculinity. So if you do vent to your mate, do so in a helpless, damsel-in-distress fashion, and be grateful for any time he grants you, and any solutions he offers you.
• The Stepford Mentality ~ From cautioning women to stay away from the “frumpy mom” look to instructing them to reapply their makeup before their husband comes home, and greeting them at the door with a hug and a kiss (is anyone else thinking of June Cleaver right now?), Dr. Laura does all but instruct her reader to go out and rent either version of The Stepford Wives as instructional videos.

My final thoughts, however, are somewhere in the neighborhood of: this is the worst relationship book I’ve read to date, and I pity any couple who falls into this book and think it depicts the road to a healthy relationship.