This book is meant to is a comedic trip through the author’s life beginning with “Thanks for No Memory,” in which she conjures up images of her childhood, to “The Last Chapter,” which consists of her summary of human being. Sadly, the pseudo-autobiography falls flat on its face even before the end of the first chapter. Perhaps Degeneres' editor should have warned her that stand-up routines do not translate well to the printed page. Without the nuances and gesticulations her fans appreciate on stage, these anecdotes are dull monologues that have difficulty raising even a smile. The chapters are interspersed with pointless lists such as “things to do if you’re stuck in an elevator to help you pass the time: Prepare your grocery list for the year, count your arm hairs….”, whose only purpose seems to be to fill in a few blank pages. If there is a point to all this is hard to find and probably not worth the effort.