Somebody Is Going to Die If Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet reads like an afternoon sipping tea with the delightfully Southern authors Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays. While they try hard to stay on the subject of wedding advice, they cannot help but sway a little to the stories that prove their advice to be true.

Peppered with fabulous recipes for important milestones from courting (Sunday Lunch to Impress a Prospective Bridegroom) to rehearsal (Linda’s Famous Rehearsal Dinners) to a variety of wedding possibilities (small wedding dinners to the utmost of extravagance), this laugh-out-loud book is full of all possibilities, with a wide range of stories to match.

Important milestones aren’t in the cards for all brides, and a chapter is dedicated to “The Shotgun Wedding: Do You Know Who Mah Daddy Is?” For those making their way down that aisle yet again, not to fret: “Menu for Anne Dudley’s Third Wedding Reception” will guide the way.

The advice doesn’t stop at the wedding, however, as it would be cruel to leave the poor bride at the mercy of her badly spoiled young groom and his expectations of cooking that lives up to his mothers. For this it is advised that the young bride start off with something simple:

Bride’s Biscuits

Ingredients
½ cup butter, softened
2 ounces cream cheese, softened
1 cup flour

Preheat the oven to 350F.

Mix the butter and cheese until blended. Add the flour and “work” the mixture until a ball of dough forms. Lightly flour a smooth surface and roll the dough. Cut with a small biscuit cutter. Bake at 350F for 10 to 12 minutes, or until biscuits are lightly browned.