I Married Dr. Jekyll and Woke Up Mrs. Hyde
Alma H. Bond
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I Married Dr. Jekyll and Woke Up Mrs. Hyde: Or What Happens to Love* online

I Married Dr. Jekyll and Woke Up Mrs. Hyde: Or What Happens to Love
Alma H. Bond
476 pages
November 2000
rated 4 of 5 possible stars

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Many women, whether married for months, years or decades, often wonder what happened to their spouses. In this book on martial relationships, author Alma Bond explores the scenarios of dozens of women from all walks of life, all ages and education levels to try to determine what causes the disintegration of their marriages. Of course, physical and mental abuses are the leading factors in the dissolution and disenchantment with many marriages, but there are other scenarios as well.

Take, for example, the cross section of "male types" that Bond uses for the basis of her questioning and interviews: there are the physical abusers, and the verbal abusers. Almost two-dozen women tell their stories of various degrees of physical and emotional abuse and how it affected their determination to get out of their doomed relationships. Then there are the men who fit into the following categories: the Withholders, those who need Space, those who are Unfaithful. And, of course, there are the stories from the women whose husbands, for some reason or another, real or imagined, "abandoned" their wives, perhaps not physically but emotionally, with distancing and apparent unconcern. There are stories of homosexuals of both sexes, and those who married for the wrong reasons.

Bond doesn’t stop there, however. She strives to understand and to communicate through these women’s stories how and why many marriages fail. One of the most common statements is “He changed after we were married”, or “I loved what I thought he was”.

The ages of women profiled in this book range from twenty-seven to eighty-two, the average being around forty-six. Bond concludes, at the end of her exhaustive study, that most of these women gave their marriages their best efforts, even if they sensed that those marriages were doomed from the start. She also came to the conclusion that every woman profiled in the book experienced some sort of growth through her divorce, whether it was a friendly one or not. Almost fifty percent of her interviewed subjects state that they still love their ex-spouses, but found that it was absolutely necessary to leave the marriage in order to save themselves, whether physically or spiritually.

I Married Dr. Jekyll and Woke Up Mrs. Hyde is an extraordinary study conducted by a woman with thirty years of experience in psychoanalytical practice. She has undertaken an endeavor to offer her advice on the serious problem of divorce. This book is not merely a "tell-all" for women and by women; it is meant also to provide men with valuable guidance on how to communicate with their spouses to prevent failed marriages.

Written in an engaging, friendly and non-threatening style, Bond’s book is not only informative; it is a valuable tool for professional counselors and laypeople alike. While many of the narratives in the book are sad and depressing, Bond nevertheless manages to create a sense of hope out of hopelessness and compassion out of selfishness. A definite must for anyone involved in a relationship.

© 2003 by Denise M. Clark for Curled Up With a Good Book

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