How Not to be a Domestic Goddess
Deborah Ross
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Perhaps you harbor visions of yourself as a Non-Domestic Goddess - because you have used your bathtub to defrost a chicken, or dried a child’s swim trunks by swinging them around your head just in time for the next swim class. But British humor columnist Deborah Ross would have you know that the standards for Non-Domestic Goddesses are exactingly low. The average, run-of-the-mill slob can only ever hope to attain such low standards of housekeeping as to earn the title of Non-Domestic Goddess.
The Non-Domestic Goddess is one who has garnered such hard-won wisdom as:
- School plays consist of one child who always knows all the lines and shouts them in the faces of those that don’t.
- It is important to understand teenagers, or at least how best to embarrass them. A push-up bra or tight leather outfit worn to a parents’ conference ought to do the trick nicely.
- The secret to keeping a marriage going is to always go to bed on an argument. This way, you waste no time in resuming hostilities the next morning.
- The key to handling blackened cookware: soak, soak, soak - before throwing it away when no one is looking.
- The more effort you put into preparing a child’s lunch, the less the chances that it will be eaten by the child.
This first book by Ross, a popular columnist for the Spectator, Independent and Daily Mail, has been pegged as the acerbic antidote to the “Yummy Mummy” syndrome. It’s a compilation of tongue-in-cheek essays with titles such as “The Fine Art of Resentful Cooking” and “The School Holidays are Holidays for Whom, Exactly?” While many of the essays relate to topics with which all wives and mothers might identify, some of the humor is quintessentially British. Not all the anecdotes and references travel well across the pond, but Ross captures the sentiments of many women who, when faced with the perfect technique for folding napkins, would rather just throw in the towel.
Originally published on Curled Up With A Good Book at www.curledup.com. © Usha Reynolds, 2009
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