If your are a struggling, moderately successful, dare I even state a successful screenwriter, you no doubt are familiar with the name Joe Eszterhas. He is the screenwriter of the huge blockbuster Basic Instinct starring Sharon Stone, co-writer of Flashdance (who could forget Jennifer Beals with her shoulder sticking out of the sweatshirt) and the now infamous 1995 flick Showgirls, which morphed Elizabeth Berkley’s image of the squeaky clean Jessie Spano of Saved By The Bell fame to Vegas showgirl wannabe Nomi Malone. The first chapter of Eszterhas’s The Devil’s Guide To Hollywood opens with an explosion of quotes; here is one from page fifteen that could fit into any era (some would say all) of filmmaking:

“These are the rules of the game. The Old Hollywood adage: “In the beginning, when he is writing the script, the screenwriter has the gun. When he turns his script in. he turns the gun over to the producer. When the producer hires the director, he hands the gun over to the director. When the director turns in his final cut, he hands the gun over to the studio. The studio then takes the gun and shoots the writer, the producer, and the director. The studio then hands the gun to the stars of the movie, who are going out to publicize the film. In rare cases like Heaven’s Gate, the studio turns the gun on itself and blows its own brains out.”

IBut in the last hundred pages or so, the trysts become boring, the mostly useless quotes (take it from Zsa Zsa Gabor) get tiresome, and you begin to wonder why it has to go on this long. But, like everyone else on Planet Earth, you have to look at Joe like anyone else: no one is infallible. You have to take the good with the bad. Some of his advice is useful, but take most of it with a grain of salt. The best thing one can glean from the quips and quotes is to work hard and stick to your guns. I doubt any new screenwriter will get a Beverly Hills hotel to write in if they are bold enough to demand one, but this culmination of Eszterhas’s thirty-one years in the Hollywood trenches is worthy to read for entertainment value alone. How much this will help you sell a script and make seven figures is up for debate. The one thing you can’t take away from Joe is his legitimate track record of blockbuster movies, and something can be learned from that.

• Hollywood Animal: A Memoir