The Bridal Wave
Erin Torneo & Valerie Krause
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Buy *The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years* by Erin Torneo & Valerie Krause online

The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years
Erin Torneo & Valerie Krause
256 pages
January 2007
rated 5 of 5 possible stars

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The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years by Erin Torneo & Valerie Krause is dedicated to “all the women who read the title of this book and got it instantly.” As one of those women, I can’t endorse this book enough.

Peppered with pithy phrases – “nuptial nonsense,” “lobridemy,” “Club Wedd,” the “itch-to-hitch epidemic,” “cult of the wedding binder” – that see through all the ‘happily ever after/one perfect day’ propaganda, The Bridal Wave is utterly relatable. Through discussions that range from the personal (what happens when your younger sister marries first) to the public (the role of friends, family, finances, feminism and fame in creating an atmosphere where marriage is the ultimate goal), the authors remain earnest, humorous, helpful and satisfyingly modern.

Torneo and Krause also address important issues that aren’t covered in any bridal magazine - or, for that matter, any magazines. They acknowledge that even though you may be happy for your friends, you may also be sad, jealous, angry, hurt, lonely, and/or sick of weddings. They discuss the idea that, even in this day and age, most young women have a mental “must-be” timeline ("must be married by 27, in order to have children by 30"), and why it’s both deceptive and dangerous. Many of the real life dilemmas you face when hit with a Bridal Wave – the sudden outflow of cash; what to do if you don’t like the groom; the "minefield of etiquette" that is a wedding; when to be honest, and when to fake it; why not to choose the wedding reception of a friend as the place to dissect your current relationship – are all included.

In keeping with the sense of perspective Torneo & Krause are trying to provide, and as a means of cutting through the “wedding static,” each chapter ends with “sanity saving vows” designed to show the importance of remaining true to yourself, whether you’re single, engaged, or otherwise occupied. They even go so far as to provide a script for difficult situations: explaining why singledom rocks to your grandmother, for example.

Aimed at helping overwhelmed women wind their way through "matrimania" – from the “I’ve got big news!” engagement call, to the “estrogen purgatory” that is a bridal shower; from the bachelorette parties to the dress fittings, and all the way through to the big day, The Bridal Wave may help to keep a reader’s head above water… and their sense of humor intact.

Originally published on Curled Up With A Good Book at © Melissa McLaughlin, 2007

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